In the past two years, I have lost my own mother and not a day goes by that I don't ache for her loss. We were very close. With my own Mom though, I had time to prepare. She was sick for some time so when she passed, we were there with her and it was not a surprise. Still terribly heart breaking, but not unexpected with the way it happened nor the timing. She was an extremely strong woman who battled and beat so much, but at some point a body just can't take anymore and has to quit.
At this time of year, the feeling of missing her is indescribable. Her loss is even more palatable during the holidays even though I know I was lucky to have had as much time with her as I did. Each time I do something significant or something cool, or even something silly that I normally would share with her, I am jolted with that reminder that I can't tell her about it. Not anymore. I can't pick up the phone to chat about my day. I can't ask her advice or opinion on issues which often times were opposite of mine, but occasionally were exactly the same. In fact, when my husband tells me my ideas are wrong or logically flawed, I remind him that my Mom always said that's how it was, so it must be true. Then he'll shake his head with that "knowing" look. I am not sure what that knowing look means, but he'll usually mutter something like "that explains it....". I think that's code for "you were right the whole time dear, my bad"....At least, I think that's what it means.

So Mom, Merry Christmas to you. And take a look at the pic of the new bike I just got in the post below. It's cool isn't it? Yeah, I knew you'd like it....after all, it's blue. :-)
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